I want to register for a Magic the Gathering release tournament. I’ll walk in, pay my fee, and sit down without a care in the world. When the packs are dispersed, I’ll build my deck quietly, laughing and joking with the other tournament goers. The first round will be posted, and I’ll sit down with my opponent with a friendly handshake.
I will then proceed to riffle-bridge shuffle my deck. The air will be filled with the rending sound of value being bled away into the yawning air. I’ll hand my ravaged cards to my opponent to be cut, and make eye contact.
It is then, as a dawning horror oozes from the deepest recesses of their reptilian mind, that they will understand just how few fucks I give.