Jupiter is the motherfucking badass of the entire goddamn solar system.  Think it’s just some giant, useless gas planet with a dopey red spot?  Fuck that noise.  Jupiter is the reason you’re alive right now.  Show some respect.

Turns out, there’s a hell of a lot more space debris out there that should be hitting us: asteroids that would wipe out life on Earth if given half a chance.  The reason they’re not vaporizing us is because Jupiter.  Without it, the rate of impacts on Earth would be something like 1000 times higher than it is now.  It’s so large, with such a massive gravitational field, that as it sweeps through its orbit it guards us like a protective big brother.  It sends most space rocks that even look at the inner solar system funny flying out into the void of space.    Jupiter has our fucking back.

Recently, within our lifetimes, an asteroid started to enter the inner solar system that was big enough to repave the surface of the Earth in fire and death if it had hit us.  Jupiter caught it, tore it to pieces, and then ate the pieces.

Jupiter X Earth: BroTP.

Notes

  1. kuzzykaspar reblogged this from greyscaleinferno
  2. eonneo reblogged this from ohtokki
  3. ohtokki reblogged this from liuwenyu
  4. liuwenyu reblogged this from aubdae
  5. aubdae reblogged this from hipsterizzy
  6. kiskolee reblogged this from edgarpuke and added:
    …best description of Jupiter I’ve ever read.
  7. wesmaldonado reblogged this from sawickipedia
  8. niikiibii reblogged this from infinityshred
  9. zmaug reblogged this from greyscaleinferno
  10. michaelgoff reblogged this from rafer
  11. amshe reblogged this from ala-derive
  12. claudiocossio reblogged this from rafer and added:
    Hay que dar gracias a Jupiter…nuestro hermano mayor.
  13. sangrail reblogged this from againbeholdthestars
  14. chronicyawn reblogged this from rafer
  15. -slipperywhenwet reblogged this from samaelmorningstar
  16. samaelmorningstar reblogged this from hipsterizzy
  17. ditchdemon reblogged this from thelithiumcat
  18. 5illygirl reblogged this from againbeholdthestars and added:
    Jupiter= #1 bro
  19. againbeholdthestars reblogged this from silhouettesunsets and added:
    I learn a lot from Tumblr.
  20. nicholasbarone reblogged this from rafer
  21. rosstreleven reblogged this from greyscaleinferno and added:
    Best planet write up I’ve ever read.
  22. vincnetas reblogged this from pukomuko and added:
    jewpiter kicks ass
  23. silhouettesunsets reblogged this from wishesandwhiskers
  24. justinherrick reblogged this from rafer
  25. sawickipedia reblogged this from rafer
  26. rafer reblogged this from pukomuko
  27. zafricanation reblogged this from wishesandwhiskers
  28. wishesandwhiskers reblogged this from thelithiumcat
  29. hipsterizzy reblogged this from thelithiumcat
  30. thelithiumcat reblogged this from greyscaleinferno
  31. erkings reblogged this from dfvgkmng2